TF2 RED HQ Recruitment Briefing:
Related to Team Fortress 2, posted 4 months ago
My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I'm a Soldier. I'm putting together a special team, and I need me eight Spies. Eight RED-American Spies. Now, y'all might've heard rumors about the event happening soon.
Well, we'll be leaving a little earlier.
We're gonna be dropped into 2Fort, dressed as BLU Scouts. And once we're in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin' BONK army, we're gonna be doin' one thing and one thing only... killin' BLUs. And sometimes, sappin' some sentries.
Now, I don't know about y'all, but I sure as hell didn't come down from the goddamn Badwater Basin, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of Dustbowl and rocket-jump out of an air-o-plane to teach the BLUs lessons in 'l33tness'.
BLU ain't got no humanity.
They're the foot soldiers of a RED-hatin', mass murderin' maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. Or even better...exploded. Our fellow Demomen will take care of the job.
That's why any and every every son of a bitch we find wearin' a BLU uniform, they're gonna die.
We will be cruel to the BLUs, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the BLUs won't not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives.
And the BLUs will be sickened by us, and the BLUs will talk about us, and the BLUs will fear us. And when the BLUs closes their eyes at night and they're tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with.
By the way, we've got plenty of sandviches for everyone.
Sound good?