Related to Fable II posted 2 months ago

The Top 5 Misconceptions about Children

Like a typical poor college student who needs money for textbooks to buy (and games...), I have a part-time job. I tutor children in an elementary school and I do experience the many ups and downs of teaching the young'uns. However, I always wondered why certain children are the "bad ones" and others are not. Perhaps all the TV and junk food turned some of their brains into mush while those that are genetically endowed with such immunity can down a whole bag of tootsie rolls without going into a diabetic coma. But we all know the culprit behind the children's curruption is the parents; the ones who never signed up for parenting 101 or simply followed urban myths that were never provened to be correct. Here are the top five misconceptions about these munchkins:

5) "He/she is not fat, just have big-bones!"

Classic case of a guardian's self-denial. We all know the term "big-bones" does not mean the same as "fat." Big-bones means your skeletal frame is large, not the ungodly large amount of adipose tissue your offspring has. This kid has big-bones, who suffers from gigantism, a disease caused by genetics (God hates you?); your kid is just fat, who suffers from OBESITY, a disease caused by your daily feeding of fast foods and sweets. Yes, large difference there I must say.

4) "Playing Mozart's music will make my baby smarter."

Also dubbed as the Mozart effect, it has been provened that playing classical music to your baby will make he/she turn into a genius, but utterly socially inept. No I lied, actual research has shown that the Mozart effect is actually false. This means transforming your infant into a smarty-pants with a press of a button and music that you might not appreciate anyway is not feasible. Active parenting does however turn your child into a hard working citizen with values, which I think is more important than trying to add IQs to your baby like achievement points on your xbox live account.

3) "Don't worry, they will grow out of it!"

Kids can certainly obtain bad habits and behavioral problems easily. It's true, kids can grow out of "it," that is if you at least lift a finger to teach them the good ways of life or force them to watch Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. Closing your eyes and hoping for the best never works. (A lesson easily learned if one played Dragon Age Origins. Let's just say you can travel to a brothel called "The Pearl" and have the option to ask the proprietor to "surprise you.")

2) "All I have to do is feed, shelter, bathe, and drive them to school."

Sounds simple doesn't it? It's like taking care of a puppy...except the puppy has arms, legs, and the capability to be a hindrance to society. Sure, you can just stick to those four tasks and let society shape your child's life filled with crap from MTV and role models like Lindsey Lohan. According to the Manual of Parenting (no not those guidebooks you find in Barnes and Noble) there are other tasks you must carry out such as teaching discipline, morals, rules, independence, M. Night Shyamalan will always suck, and etc. Oh my, so many tasks! I might as well just do the bare minimum.. at least this puppy will outlast the actual one. 

1) "Video games are a bad influence on children!"

Well...okay this is... true. Studies have shown violent video games increase the chance that a child will develop violent behaviors in his or her lifetime. Also, children tend to imitate the actions of the characters with horrible consequences. I know, there's nothing really wrong with this statement...except this. Video games (specifically FPS genre) can improve eyesight and have been provened true according to this study. Think about it; when your child grows up to be a wanted criminal, he/she can spot a cop from miles away in a bush. Pat yourself on the back my friend, you have passed down a useful skill for the next generation.